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Letter to My Mom

April 15, 2018
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When my Dad passed away in 2009, God laid it on my heart to write him a letter.  I was given an opportunity to speak at his funeral or the graveside service, but I thought it might be too difficult to speak.  However, a letter at the graveside seemed like something I could get through.  The letter would honor him and it would give me a chance to say goodbye, one last opportunity to tell him that I loved him.
 
After the graveside ceremony ended, I asked one of the pastors if I could leave the letter with Dad.  I placed it inside the casket and it was sealed.  I later realized that I did not have a copy of that letter.  I remember the essence of it, but I wish I had a copy now. 
 
When Mom passed away, I knew that I wanted to do the same for her, but this time I would keep the letter!
 
I will end this page with that letter, but there are a couple of things that I want to share about it before I post it here. 
 
First, when Mom passed away, I was in a time crunch getting back to Florida, going through some things in Mom’s apartment, and getting ready for the funeral.  I didn’t have any stationary (and almost no time for shopping!), but as I went through Mom’s things, I found a stationary holder made by Grandma Geise (my Mom’s mom), filled with beautiful pink flower paper.  Mom would have loved for me to use that paper to write her letter!

Second, my Mom loved her family, she loved teaching, and she loved feeling like she had a purpose.  She had to retire soon after her 2004 miracle, so she often missed her students.  Mom loved doing things for people.  I remember one time when a friend came over to study.  She and I were in my room working on math, when my mom appeared with a TV tray with snacks and drinks on it.  My friend was blown away that my mom would prepare a snack and ‘serve us’.  Mom was a giver who spent her entire life serving others.  It’s what she did, and it brought her such joy!
 
Mom struggled at various times after retirement, wondering what her purpose was in life.  She felt somewhat useless at times.  Mom wanted to be able to do, to help, to work hard at something.  Many of our phone calls over the last couple of years ended up back on this same topic.
 
When she first started asking what her purpose was, I didn’t always know quite what to say.  I would encourage her, but I wasn’t always sure how to answer.  Sometimes I would tell her that part of her purpose was to tell her story, the miracles God had done in her life. 
 
As we talked over the last couple of years, Mom would share how this or that person at Arbor Hills, her independent living facility, was lonely or struggling with family issues.  She would share how she listened to them, talked with them, and offered encouragement.  Mom was kind to them.  She shared about a new resident who did not have many friends, so, she would invite her up to watch a movie.
 
When hearing about these interactions, I began to share that God was using her for his two-fold purpose as expressed by Jesus.  I highlight this purpose in my letter to her below.
 
What’s interesting is that this same theme was a common thread in my devotions with my students over the past year.  Prior to my Mom passing away in January, this idea came up multiple times in the fall in my devotions with my students. 
 
God weaved that common thread throughout my mom’s final days and my final year with her.  I think that is His message to all of us.  We all serve in different ways, but Jesus boiled it down to simplicity.  Sometimes I wonder what His plans are for me, but I am reminded of his straightforward words and that I just need to trust Him daily.  I am also reminded that I have a wonderful example who really understood what life is truly about.  Mom may have wondered about her purpose and may not have fully realized what it was,  but she lived it. 
 

I pray that we would all be reminded of his two greatest commandments and that God will bless us as we seek Him and strive to live out His purpose!
 
January 13, 2018
 
Dear Mom,
 
It’s hard to write this letter to you, because it will be my final goodbye to you here on earth, and it is impossible to capture in words how much you mean to me and to everyone who knew you.  I hope that you realize what a huge impact you had on those around you.
 
Over the last few years you’ve shared with me that since God brought you back in 2004, you’ve wondered what your purpose was.  You also asked that question multiple times over the last two-and-a-half years since God decided to work another incredible miracle in your life in 2015.  Over the last few days God has given clear confirmation of that purpose. 
 
Two days ago residents of Arbor Hills, who had only known you during the last two-and-a-half years, shared how you were the example of what a Christian should be.  They talked about how you were the kindest person they had ever met and how Christ’s love poured out from you.  Last night at the viewing people shared how you were the kindest, most loving person they had ever known and how Christ’s love radiated out from you. 
 
Mom, you followed God’s call on your life as Jesus expressed it in Matthew 22:37 and 39, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
 
You lived your life to love God and sing His praises and to love people.  I know that when you joined Jesus on Sunday, He said, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” – Matthew 25:21.
 
Mom, Clark and I feel so blessed that we got to have you as our mother.  What a privilege to have a mom who loved us and loved our children so dearly.  It never mattered what we did, you just wanted to be with us.  You taught me how to enjoy precious moments together from sitting under a blanket with hot cocoa when we were kids to watching a movie or reading a book together. 
 
I treasure every moment we spent together, and I’m so grateful that I got to have that last phone call with you before you went on life support. 
 
A few years ago, you started the “Love you forever” comments after we had already said goodbye.  You would always pause after we said goodbye and then say “Love you forever” so we could have more time together.  I would always respond with “I love you forever, too,” and then we would say goodbye again.
 
I know some people may think us a bit silly, but I will always remember those extra “Love you forever” moments and know that God gave those to both of us as a gift. 
 
Juanita Gayle Berry, you are truly an amazing woman of God who will live in all of our hearts forever, and one day we will join you and Dad rejoicing together.  Thank you for being a faithful woman of God throughout your life and for teaching me how to Love God and Love Others.
 
I love you forever, Mom!

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  • Home
  • The Miracle of Mom 2004
  • The Miracle of Mom 2015
  • One Last Phone Call
  • Letter to My Mom
  • One Last Phone Call...With My Dad
  • Why Are You Staying?
  • You Didn't Miss It!
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog